The misguided Kissers of Love

Please enlighten me on what exactly they want to achieve. What is the aim of those who are supporting the movement of “Kiss of Love”? Supporters of “moral policing” are at least not hypocritical in their approach. One class of the “moral police” in their own way admit that open expression of love often spark urge for sex in them and therefore seek others' help in avoiding such occasions. The other class of supporters of “moral policing” unilaterally assumes the responsibility of their parents and feel equally concerned. But what are the supporters of “kiss of love” looking for?

If the demand is that their open expression should not create any urge for sex in the onlookers then it would imply that they want to “control” the events that should become irrelevant for sparking desire for sex? If that is so, then how is this different from their own definition of “moral policing”. Are they trying to teach morality while projecting that they are actually against it? Isn't that an attempt only to expand the list of 'morally acceptable acts'?

Or do they want only to hurt those who admit that they get sexually aroused when they witness an open act of expression of love? Then this act for me falls under the category that includes 'rape' - where sex is misused to hurt someone – physically, mentally and psychologically.

And lastly if it is to make that class of “moral police” behave 'sensibly' who unilaterally assumes parental concerns upon themselves, wouldn't it be more effective to hit the root of the problem. Would it be misplaced to ask them to “show their expression” before their own parents to make their point. That way they would slap those elements of the “moral police” by making them understand that they must stop having unnecessary concerns for them as their own parents do not feel insecure even after having witnessed the act?

Before you start loading your answers with questions and start hurling towards me let me submit my own understanding on the issue. In my view, both the attitudes are misplaced. While one is a spontaneous reflex action out of rural innocence while the other is planned with motives much beyond what is apparently visible. Disappointedly though, both talks only on an issues that is less relevant in our society and point towards the events that can potentially spark an urge for sex in individuals. It is only stupid to assume that in a country as vast as ours, it could be identical in each one of us as it depends mainly on our individual experiences and the environment around us. But, both the sides want to have a control on that. “Moral police” wants to avoid the fire by asking us to place the matchboxes at designated places whereas the “immoral police” wants to control the fire itself.

Just as a crime even if done in isolation can not be excused by terming it as 'personal' or 'traditional', an act involving two individuals does not remain 'personal' if it is done in full view of public. And then it must be subject of public scrutiny. 'Decency' and 'morality' is neither absolute nor fixed but any claim that it does not exist for someone only confirms that he/she is being blatantly hypocritical.

  

Ironically what India requires is not a control on the urge for sex. Instead what we need to learn is to understand, accept and respect a 'NO' from an unwilling partner. We need to learn that as soon as the partner hints at an objection it is criminal to still think of 'enjoying' your act.

Exposure, Sex, Rape and Sex-education - in Indian Context

Let us stop behaving hypocritically

Sorry, I refuse to be a hypocrite. I can not project myself as normal human and yet claim that I am not interested in the opposite sex. I can not ask others not to conclude the obvious even if I am in a live-in relationship. I would never ask anyone to believe in the honesty of my relationship if I prefer spending my nights with another. I can not be hypocritical in claiming that we are 'just' friends only to convey that we are not into any physical relationship but meaning thereby that so what as friends can also have a physical relationship.

I also refuse to stop advising women not to bother about their safety. I would prefer to be called as someone possessing a 'rapist's mentality' for expressing concerns for them and by asking them to take precautions if it can help saving even a single one of them. Those who are in a habit of provoking innocent women to participate in 'slut-walks' and other similar reactionary activities must be satisfying their sex-laced intents to see them walking like sluts but sorry, I will never approve this for the reason that these activities achieve little towards the real cause but serves enough to make many enjoy the show and thereby defeating the very purpose of organizing these 'shows'. I am also a male and so don't even dare to fool me by claiming that 'real men' do not feel sexually aroused at the glimpse of 'appropriately' exposed women. Even if the 'popular' Menaka-Vishwamitra episode is rejected by terming it as 'myth', the world-wide booming prostitution industry, success of 'peep shows' and 'relaxing massages' in attracting tourists to boost tourism in many countries, ever-increasing madness to attend 'rave parties' and an increasing popularity of porn sites on the internet are enough examples to expose these hypocritical claims hollow. It is patently dishonest and hypocritical to claim that an 'appropriate' exposure do not initiate 'a desire to have sex'.

Does 'exposure' invites rape?

But hey, hold on, both who think that 'exposure' invites rape and those who think that rape has nothing to do with how one carries herself need to wait and pause for a while. As 'a desire for sex' initiated by an exposure never gets automatically transformed into an 'intention to rape'. The fact is that 'a desire to have sex' is also an innocent human-reflex. However, one's background and upbringing then helps in preventing this 'desire to have sex' to get morphed onto 'forcing sex in an extreme way on other'. The reason for this transformation to occur are many including their acquired ideological understanding of a good/bad, moral/immoral and forbidden/acceptable sexual behaviors and past experiences. In many cases, statistically speaking, this transformation is also affected when the person is in a drunken state when their acquired sense of acceptable behavior, if any, through their background or the manner in which they were brought up failed to stop their natural beastly (read manly) reflexes. And come on, whom do we fool by participating in a candle march against a rape incident demanding police action to stop 'all' rapes? When in most of the cases the accused are known to the victims is it not hypocritical to still claim that it is possible for the 'police and government' to take care of them instead of them themselves.

Enough is enough

Enough is enough. Let us now at least, stop fooling women. we have fooled them enough – first by setting up a patriarchal system and now by creating a mirage-like claim that this system can be destroyed without actually showcasing a better alternative. First by forcibly trying to pull 'sari' off 'Draupadis' and now by making them shed clothes on their own in the name of 'slut walks' and 'liberation'. First by exploiting them at home only and now at all other places including home. Isn't it time now that 'women' must understand that males are males and will always remain beasts? Women are better species and they need to protect themselves and stop 'downgrading' themselves attempting to ape males. It is a crude fact that males with their beastly reflexes can find even an innocent openness in women's attitude as conducive of finding innovative ways to exploit them.

Need of sex-education with Indian perspective

Our society badly needs sex education. There is an urgent need to sensitize ourselves through an 'Indian-ized' sex education as our problems are completely different from other countries. Much before we start educating the youth on how to indulge in sex and yet avoid pregnancy we should first start with how to behave with the other sex. Sex-education weaved with spiritual/moral education is what should be prescribed for us. To start with, given our prevalent conservative attitude towards sex we can even think of providing online education on this aspect. In our country, parents would make the best teachers on sex-education if they can somehow be 'educated' to come out of their initial inhibitions in response to the need of the hour.

Conclusion

Believe me, it is 'males' who need to be reigned in while women just need to take their normal individual care. As a matter of fact, while women are family oriented by instinct males should be forced to become family-oriented. Our society further needs to be thrashed, reformed, shaken and turned upside down to make it accept rape victims only as 'victims' so that they do not face any rehabilitation problem that becomes absolutely impossible for them. On the other hand, the society must also be pushed to think of some extreme measures of tackling the accused too so that we do not have to witness another horrifying experience where the beast in males dares to attempt at 'enjoying' rapes with hapless victims. 
Instead of women asking to be treated as men, I see an immediate need to force men behave socially like women.